Happy New Year 2010

Wow! Can not believe the new year is here. 2009 went by way too quick. I am going to attempt to do Project 365, but can not make any promises. I will start tomorrow by putting my first picture up.

On another note, chemo is wearing me out! My treatment was this past Monday and it drained me. I was not feeling like myself till last nite. I hate it to a "T". This is what I have written about it.

Chemo there is only one word to describe it: PAINFUL. It's painful to throw up over and over till your whole body hurts, it's painful to have nose bleeds/cough up blood till your nose is sore or your throat is so raw you can hardly stand to mutter two words. It's painful to have that IV put in when the nurses miss it a couple times and you bruise easlily and have bruises up and down your arms from it. It's painful to be sitting there and all of a sudden you know what going to happen 30-45 minutes after you start getting it. It's painful to know that for several days you can not play with your kids and only to see their disappointed faces. It's painful to see what it does to your family and your life. To know that your kids see and hear you throw up; and it scares them and they cry. It's painful to see the fear in their eyes when my nose bleeds. And most of all it's painful to have the feelings and to think you would much rather life to end then to have to do this over and over. These are the feelings I battle every day. I recieved my 2nd treatment and am so wiped out, I have NO energy for anything. All I want to do is just sit and cry. I am tired of this taking over my life. And that's the painful part it's MY LIFE. Life that no one should have to endure. A life that you sit and think what did I do wrong? Why do I have to go through this? I am fed up and am so sick of BEING SICK!

You know I really hate what this is doing to my kids. Every day Kaylee asks "Do you have to go to the hospital?" And she has that worried look on her face. She does not want me out of her sight. And then when I am sick they ask "why are you sick again mommy?" This just tears me up inside because I know that they are trying to understand but just can't. This is just tearing me apart. My whole reason for being here is for them. They are what make me get up every day. If I didn't have them, I might just stop fighting. No one should ever have to endure this! This is just horrible.

As I was sitting there today I though of the phrase God will never give you soemthing you can not handle. There is a reason why I am going through this. He has a bigger plan for me. But one thing is for sure I am going to fight and fight like crazy because I am bound and determined to see my kids grow up. Their smiles, hugs and love is what makes this worth the fight.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope each and everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We did. The in-laws and us went to my parents for Thanksgiving. My cousin and her family were there, my grandparents, my sister and her family and my parents were all there. There was TONS of food and we all had a great time! We all sat around after eating looking at the Black Friday ads. We picked out what we were after and had fun talking about it. David and his dad left to go watch a movie and then around 4pm his mom, the kids and I all left to come back home. We also got our tree up. It's not decorated, but it is up.

David and I decided that we were going to get up for some items. Since our printer/scanner has hit the dust we got the HP printer from Wal-Mart for $25. It came with both inks so it basically paid for itself. David also picked up both kiddos coats at Wal-Mart for $15 regularly $35, so both were less than one by itself. They needed them bad. Skyler was still wearing his one from last year and you could tell it was too small, and Kaylee has been wearing her light jacket, cause hers was way to small from last year. Then later on during the day I picked up the color wonder pads that Wal-Mart had for $5 each, one for Skyler and one for Kaylee. Then at Target I got the Memorex DVD player for $20, so the kids can watch their own movies/shows when we would like to watch something. I also got a toy for Skyler for mom at Target. My camera has been about ready to roll over and die for awhile so David got me the Nikon camera that they had on sale for $88. Which I very much appreciated, I just have to figure this one out. I also got a few odds and ends at Target and Wal-Mart. I already had the majority of the toys bought before I found out about my cancer, but this kind of put a halt to the additional stuff that I would of like to have gotten them. All in all it was a pretty good day.

The in-laws left once we got back. It was sad to see them go, however, it is nice to have my house back again. I am gearing up for next week. Kaylee is off to see the dr Monday about her head. She has seemed like she is just very agitated all the time since it happened, just not herself. Then Wednesday is chemo day. I am not really looking forward to it at all. I will just take it one day at a time though.

Again I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday! And just think 27 more shopping days til Christmas!

Update

Besides being extrememly sore, things are going ok. Just a little bruised from the surgery. I have been getting on the internet, and it does escape from things, but then I have a sering pain and come back to reality. I know I have been pushing myself too hard, because David does not want to seem to pick up any slack at all. And it gets sooooo frustrating. I am not suppose to be picking up anything, but yet I am because he always finds an excuse about everything. I thought this time around would be different, but it's not. He had three days off Sunday through Tuesday and did not do any cleaning, his parents just got in today and he has known and the only room that he cleaned up was ours. This is just so frustrating. Once again after surgery I had to finish what was done. I am so sore from it all.

His parents are in until Friday (I think) and his dad, David and Kaylee all went to Wal-Mart to get groceries, some reason Subway did not deposit anyones checks and said they will be there Monday, So I literally had no money for groceries this weekend. Anyways they all went and David said Pepsi had a display set up with just a few 24 packs of pepsi in the front and then a ton of Diet Pepsi behind that. He grabbed a pack of Pepsi, and his dad was crossing it off the list when all of a sudden they heard Kaylee crying. Kaylee was in the cart in the front and she had 4-5 cases of pepsi piled on top of her. David said all of a sudden 10 managers/employees came running over. She has a HUGE goose egg on her head, and David said he held her for awhile and once he let her get down she didn't quite have her balance and she had wanted to go to sleep right after it happened. Wal-mart said that they would pay for the ER visit and everything. So we took her and they said to watch her for the next several days. Wal-Mart said that Pepsi was liable since they build the displays, however my questions is this, if it is in your store don't you have a liablity to your customers to make sure items in your store are safe? I think they are both liable. How hard is it to have an employee check items. I am just really frustrated and my heart just sank when David told me. I just hope that she is ok, because we sure can not take any more bad news right now.

Wow!

Man I just can not seem to keep up with the blog like I use to. Work and Facebook def get in my way of keeping it up. For those who don't know I have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and will be having surgery on Thursday to remove it, the surgery was originally Wednesday but it got pushed back, and then the 3rd of Dec I will be starting chemo. I am very scared this time go around but I am planning on keeping a positive outlook. My last day of work is tonight. Not really sad, I like the people I work with just don't like the aspects of the jobs and the nite hours. The kids are very happy that I am not going to be working. When I told them that today was my last day working they were very happy. With the chemo I am going to have 6-8 cycles of treatment and it will be aggressive. I know I will lose my hair but my mom and sister are going to help me shave it before the chemo can take it. My biggest worry is the kids. I just don't want them to be afraid or sad. Also money is a big concern. Since I will not be working I am super stressed about how we will make bills. But I know and hope we will find a way.

My in laws are coming in for Thanksgiving. They are coming up this Sunday and will leave the following Sunday. This is the first time that they will stay and entire week. Normally they come up the day before Thanksgiving and leave that Sunday. I hope they will put up the tree with the kids and I am hoping to get my father in law to hang the lights, because I know David won't do it. We have chosen not to tell them so that they can enjoy their visit. We are going to tell them before they leave. The kids are excited for them to come in. We only get to see them twice a year.

But I hope to be back within a week to keep you updated about how the surgery went and how I am feeling.

Sprock Family Reunion 2009

Well it was the very first time that we have ever had a family reunion on my mom's side. My aunt and cousin live here along with my grandparents so we see each other quite often. My grandpa and and his two brothers and sister and their families all got together. Each brought a food dish and enjoyed the time together. There were 4 generations there and all of the kiddos had so much fun together. My mom's cousin Janet has two kids that are Kaylee's age and a little baby named Clayton, my mom's cousin Danny had three of his kiddos there, then you have my aunt who's daughter had her kids and then my mom had us there as well as our kiddos. It is amazing to me how kids can just make friends and that is it. We adults don't make friends that easy. We all had a great time and hopefully we will have another one next year!


Kaylee woke up last nite at 3 am and was throwing up and then she seemed fine all day and then tonight she was throwing up again and seemed fine right after. I am not sure what is wrong with her, but she isn't running a fever. I told her that she wouldn't be able to go to preshool tomorrow and she started crying. But I am not sure if she is infected with anything and don't want the other kiddos getting sick in her class.

The past couple weeks we have been tossing around the idea of moving and hopefully we will. We are talking more about it and kind of want a fresh start. Just something different, but we will see.

Skyler had a great Birthday. He got 10 transformers and none were the same. He has been playing with them since. Monday we went down to the lake again and I finally got some clothes for the kids. It has been pretty cool here. Since July we haven't been able to take the kids swimming or anything. This summer has just been really weird. Skyler and Kaylee started preschool at the end of August and both love it. I think Kaylee would love to go all day if she could and every day.

Kelley is having Zachary exactly 4 weeks from today which is my birthday and it's just kind of a weird feeling. IT will be exciting. Just seems like he should be coming so soon. Kelley has had a pretty easy pregnancy.

Happy Birthday Skyler!

Geez! I am horrible at keeping this thing up. I use to be really good. Life and work gets in the way majorly! Skyler turns 5 Monday and we are celebrating today. He is so excited. We are doing his theme in Transformers. He absolutely loves Bumblebee. He, how do I put it nicely, bugged me until he got his bumblebee transformer about 2 weeks ago. It was suppose to be one of his Birthday presents, but he got it a little early. I also have Optimus Prime for him, as well as Frank from Disney cars from Kaylee. David had gotten him a transformers backpack and he already got that. So his Birthday present from us won't seem to big. My sister got him the police car and my mom got him a big Bumblebee and another transformer. I think, in fact I know, I am already transformered out!!!

Since my last post both kiddos have started preschool. Kaylee absolutely LOVES it! I literally on some days have to drag her out kicking and screaming. She has a little girl that she plays with reguraly as well as a little boy. It is pretty cute. Skyler likes school this year. And his one friend from last year is in his class again. Her name is Skylar. How funny is that?!?! We are taking cupcakes to preschool for his Birthday on Monday and of course they are transformer themed!

Can you believe that this year is almost over with? Only a little less than 4 months left! Geez where does the time go? I have already made Christmas Lists with the kids, well with Kaylee. Skyler has only said that he wants one thing so far. Kaylee loves Kai-lan and I love the fact that they have playsets now, so she will be getting those for Christmas as well as the new Strawberry Shortcake playsets. Kaylee is getting pretty girly as time goes by. Skyler wants Handy Manny with the motorcycle and that is all that he has said so far.

Kelley only has a little over a month left until Zachary is here. I am so excited, she is having him on my Birthday the 14th of October. What a birthday gift huh? We had her shower at the end of August and had a good time. She got some cute stuff. This little guy is going to be spoiled I can already tell. I am going to *try* to keep this thing updated better.